Saltz's Donut Philosophy

Two weeks ago, Jerry Saltz, an art critic from New York, posted his donut philosophy on Facebook. By chance, I came across the photo of his whiteboard:

©Jerry Saltz

Once he had published the photo on Facebook a storm of comments and new definitions broke loose. Here is a non-complete list of the additional definitions in the order they came in. I only did minor editing to shape the contributions into the same form.

Generally, I do not like to write blogs using the work of others exclusively however, most of the attributions are just too hilarious not to be shared. Nevertheless, two of them I contributed to myself. Enjoy!

Martin Heidegger: The donut leaves crumbs.

Martin Heidegger: Future donuts cannot maintain their utility in our minds and are therefore the sum of their holes.

Erwin Schrödinger: Until the box is opened, the donuts inside are simultaneously glazed and plain.

Karl Marx: The donut is a device to extract labor out of workers (value) for the possibility of extracting profit for the owner (class)

Basho (Zen philosopher) topped this: A flute with no holes, is not a flute with: A donut with no hole, is a Danish.

John Fitzgerald Kennedy: Ich bin ein Berliner not a donut.

René Magritte: This is not a donut.

Adam Smith: The market decides what the donut is.

Hamlet: To eat the donut, or not eat — that is the question.

Andy Warhol: I'm afraid that if you look at a donut long enough, it loses all of its meaning.

Immanuel Kant: Kant eat a donut. (missing comma?)

Richard III: My kingdom for a donut!!!

Pierre-Auguste Renoir: Plein glazed is natural.

René Descartes: I think, therefore, I am...eating donuts!

Macchiavelli: Donuts justify coffee.

Lao Tzu: The hole makes the donut.

Friedrich Nietzsche: Donuts are superfood for the overman.

Bill Clinton: I did not eat that donut.

Jesus: Forgive these donuts; they donut know what they are doing.

Stephen Hawkin: A donut with a black hole will eat itself.

Socrates: The unexamined donut is not worth eating.

Ludwig Wittgenstein: Whereof one donut speak, one must be silent.

Marie Antoinette: Ils veulent du pain? Qu'ils mangent des donuts.

Plutarch: Which came first, the donut or the hole?

Karl Marx: On the Jewish Donut/Bagel Question.

Ferdinand Lassalle criticising the Gotha Program: Donuts from each according to their ability; donuts to each according to their need.

Samuel Beckett: I must eat the donut... I can't eat the donut... (pause) I'll eat the donut.

William Shakespeare: The quality of donuts is not strained.

Seneca: I don't need donuts.

Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel: The world donut is gradually becoming aware of itself.

Martin Heidegger: The donuting donut.

Michel Foucault: The donut is a source of power.

Sigmund Freud: You will never fill the hole.

Carl Gustav Jung: Every body is born understanding donuts.

Milton Friedman: Without trust, it's worth donut.

Levi-Strauss: The donut brings fatness to the community. 

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