Sunday, June 3, 2018


This blog is not about Alice in Wonderland but about Alice in Badenland, i.e., Alice Schwarzer, Germany’s feminist par excellence. The lady turned 75 and got the Gutedelpreis 2018 of the Markgräfler Land, the Wineland just south of Freiburg. Happily, she accepted the 225-liter barrel of locally grown Gutedel (Chasselas) wine.

Alice, a glass in her hand (©BZ)
Winemaker Hermann Dörflinger said, “This vintage is challenging and difficult, highly complex and demanding in its uniqueness. It is no coincidence that Alice Schwarzer is on stage today,” and he added that the wine her predecessor, Baden-Württemberg's Green Governor Winfried Kretschmann, received last year was much simpler. The honoree took it with a laugh. Alice revealed that she will already drink the wine at a big party in June and little by little with colleagues from her magazine Emma.

Yes, on the one hand, Alice is a complex personality, on the other hand, she fits into old male clichés: She is bitter about not having got a man and she is a witch with cold, piercing eyes. So in a sort of ur-angst men meeting her fear for their manhood calling her Schwanz-ab-Schwarzer (dick-off-Schwarzer).

Alice maintains a universalist idea, „Women are oppressed worldwide, and the struggle for equality and emancipation must therefore not allow itself any wobbling. In this sense, the Muslim headscarf is undoubtedly a domesticating symbol historically decreed by men that we must fight against politically.”

There were rumors that Alice will soon head a newly created Federal Ministry of Virtue. As such, feminist Schwarzer wants to „give the #MeToo movement a German look“ by introducing a new bill finally banning pornography and prostitution. She also would like to create a „Quick Reaction Force“ that will monitor interactions between the sexes in all public spaces. Officers will intervene immediately if suspicion of a sexual assault should arise. „Better a hundred times too often than once too rarely“, reads a memorandum from the circle of Alice Schwarzer’s magazine Emma.

In the past there were harsher words; in 1998, for example, those of rapper Alina as published in Emma, „Kill all child abusers / in all our lands dominated by males / make them all dead as a doornail / take out the gun, pull the trigger, and dead“.

Probably Alice Schwarzer would no longer publish texts like this. The dignity of her new office will not allow her to speak in plain language anymore. Especially when even a greater consecration is in store in a few years‘ time. The job of the Federal Minister of Virtue could prove to be the ideal stepping stone to Schloss Bellevue, the residence of  Germany's Federal President.

Fake news?

P.S.: No fake news is that Alice has married:

My long-time companion, the photographer Bettina Flitner, and I got married on June 2, 2018 (©dpa)
The photo shows the couple. Alice is grinning broadly at the side of her laughing long-time companion, a beautiful snapshot in a relaxed atmosphere. Alice explained, "We have always had an open but not a public relationship. As you know, I attach great importance to the protection of my private life. However, a civil partnership is something other than a civil marriage. And so six months after the introduction of 'The Marriage for All' we have decided to take this step." The age difference between them is almost 20 years: Alice Schwarzer is 75, Bettina Flitner 56.

Bettina Flitner does not have to worry to be called "Alice Schwarzer's wife" in the future. She has long been a well-known photographer, has had many exhibitions, and has held several guest professorships.

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