Phubbing

Cell phones are like a pandemic. Rare are those not infected, sorry, affected.

On the New York Subway (©Facebook)

In Freiburg's public transport, more than two-thirds of the riders are busy with their phones. Some keep it in one hand all the time, even at the present cold temperatures in the street, young mothers push the pram with their offspring with one hand, texting with the other, bicyclists steer with one hand in heavy traffic watching videos, and old ladies type messages in their phones with difficulty to keep contact with their grandchildren. Well, people depend on their phones like addicts on their drugs. This is not new to you, but what about Red Baron?

I admit that I rely on the information in my iPhone in my pants pocket. My brain deteriorates remembering dates. So I slightly panic when I discover - admittedly rarely - data are not synchronized between my devices.

Recently Red Baron learned the new word "phubbing." This is a combination of "phone" and "snubbing" - i.e., treating someone with disrespect. By now, the situation is classic: Instead of concentrating on a personal conversation, the other person keeps glancing at a digital device.

Phubbing does not stop with couples. Researchers like Milek Schokkenbroek found out that couples affected by frequent phubbing argue more, are more dissatisfied with their relationship, and feel unhappier than comparison individuals who put their phones away more often. The destructive power of the smartphone for the partnership is called "pphubbing," partner phubbing.

Pphubbing seen on Facebook

It seems harmless to look at your cell phone while talking to your partner," says Milek, "Looking at the smartphone leads to the other person not feeling valued, which can have serious consequences for self-image and the view of the partnership."

 
Is total abstinence from using a cell phone as soon as your loved one is in sight the solution? "Most of us use our cell phones for many everyday things," Milek says, "whether it's buying a bus ticket or registering for a Coronatest, it's indispensable."

There should be no strict cell phone rules in togetherness but more transparency. Tell your partner what you're doing; then, at least he/she knows why he/she is being ignored.

O tempora, o mores!

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